How caring can affect you and your family?
Much will depend on the level of responsibility you have. Does your role involve popping in every day to make sure your loved one hasn't forgotten to have lunch, or are you responsible for a higher level of care including personal care such as helping with feeding, washing and dressing? Even the amount of time you spend physically helping your loved one is relatively small, you may still feel overwhelmed by having to plan, organize and remember everything for two.
The realization that your relative has an illness that will get worse rather than better is obviously a difficult thing for you both to cope with, but it does mean that you now have the information you need to start planning for the future. Insist that making plans isn't going to make the dementia progress more rapidly, but that ignoring problems could cause a lot of difficulty and upset later.
There are bound to be difficulties - it's a difficult situation - but hopefully, by arming yourself with as much information as possible, you'll be able minimize these.
- Gentlecare Textbook
To cope successfully with caring, you need to look after yourself. Take regular breaks and don't feel guilty about it. Make time for yourself; time to relax, time to think, time to socialize with friends and family, time to pursue your own hobbies and interests.
Taking care of yourself will help you to cope better with caring, and to enjoy a better relationship with the person with dementia, as well as with your other family and friends. Most carers agree that, despite the grueling hours of work, the challenges and the tears, caring can bring enormous rewards and a great deal of joy and laughter. Make sure you're strong enough to cope with the downside, and well enough to enjoy the ups!
- Susan Elliot-Wright, When Someone You Love has Dementia